Musings 1.13

Intention vs Outcome.

I was down in Melbourne on Tuesday to record a podcast with the lovely Sarah Grynberg and while I was there I wanted to catch up with the team at Saxton to update them on my presentation and everything that I’ve been doing. A standard day trip to the city as it may seem but I thought it would be a good opportunity to change the way I do my Musings. Maybe even move on to a 2.0 phase.

The idea and the intention I had was to record some video of the numerous parts of the day so I could share that as a little point of difference. Now that I think about it, it would have been rather ‘tik-tocky’ but the idea I thought sounded fun. The only thing was when I grabbed my camera for the first time in the morning, something didn’t feel as authentic about sharing my experience like that.

It was a really odd barrier that stopped me from executing my intention. But why? Was it embarrasment? Did I think it was actually going to be bad? It’s difficult to say but the moment I decided that the first step wasn’t for me, the whole project was never going to happen. Not ‘never’ but one thing I have learned about following through on your desires is that without that first step, it becomes a significant uphill battle to get the ball rolling.

I’m not the first person to experience this. Have you ever gone to bed with the intention of doing something first thing the next morning only to wake up and have a complete change of heart? It happens to me all the time, the number of morning workouts or runs that haven’t happened is starting to become uncountable.

Here’s where today’s quote really comes into play.

“All my life I have dreamed that by my work mankind would at least be advanced a little. It was” - Tsiolkovsky

So the question is, does it really matter? Is what you’re doing going to move the needle and in that case, is it worth dedicating time and energy to?

There’s nuance to this though. Firstly, I think people do need to have hobbies and interests that might seem odd but should require no explanation. We need our escapes and not everyone’s escape is going to change the world. Secondly, advancing mankind is a big task, and it may not seem like what you do will make an impact, but the truth is, what you do matters, you can’t judge your impact until the end as Tsiolkovsky was able to.

So on balance. Was this video thing I needed as an escape? No, I have plenty of things I love that satisfy that requirement. And was this part of what I was doing helping me achieve my goals? I would say no as well.

But only in comparison to what I was actually in Melbourne for. I was there to share my story and to work with a team that can help me continue to do that. This is what means the world to me as an individual and when I compare Intention and outcome, I think I started with the wrong intention, so the outcome was always going to be a tricky one to achieve.

By focussing on what mattered most to me while I was there, I had a successful trip. And the good news is I didn’t leave with nothing to show for it (picture wise) as I snapped a few shots while walking in between the studio and the office.